I am disappointed in myself. I thought that I would be able to consistently post something once a week. But you know, life happens and I get distracted and the blog post just doesn’t happen. I know that I’m supposed to have several posts in a vault just in case stuff like this happens but I’m behind. Obviously. So for today, I will talk about growing.
This won’t make any sense unless I talk about my history first. Unfortunately, I was in a very stagnant relationship for several years. I still get annoyed thinking about it because I could’ve moved on with my life sooner but no.
I have grown so much in the past two years than I did all throughout college and the years after. Amazing what a break-up can do for you. Well, for me.
During that relationship, I never went out and did things that would challenge me. It was a very safe bubble and I was really comfortable but there was no way it was going to work out. So here I am.
My wanting to move to SK stems from this breakup. I wanted to be as far away from him as possible. But he doesn’t get to have all the credit for that. I’ve always wanted to travel. I knew deep in my heart that I would never call the States home. Home would be my suitcase. Or whatever other country I would be living in at the time. It is also wherever my mom is. The travel bug also comes from my father who wanted to chill on a freighter and just go where it goes and get off wherever it stops to see the sights and then get back on when it was time to move on. He went all over Southeast Asia and I have the pictures to prove it. In an album. In the Philippines.
So, in an attempt to get as far away from my ex, I immediately signed up for a TEFL certification course. But I must admit, it was not the most financially sound thing to do right after a break up. You should wait a few months before making a large purchase/a big commitment. At the time, my heart wasn’t in it because all I wanted to do was run away. I didn’t complete the course.
However, after going home to the Philippines, traveling to Hong Kong and doing a long layover in Seoul, my spark was back with so much passion that I couldn’t wait to retake the course. I did and I actually just got the email saying that I completed it. For this course, I had to do at least 20 hours of practicum, observing and tutoring or student teaching. When I student taught for the first time I was a nervous wreck. This semester marks my third semester volunteering for the same teacher at a nearby community college. I’m amazed at myself because I’ve gotten so much better at interacting with the students. Sure some days it feels like pulling teeth but it’s not really that bad anymore.
At the teacher’s suggestion, in order to improve my confidence, I should practice more public speaking. I’ve gotten to the point where I actually want to be a great teacher, so I joined a ToastMasters club. Another challenge because a portion of the meeting is spent on Table Topics where you are asked a question out of the blue and you have to talk about it for at least 45 seconds and I dread this every time. But that’s exactly the reason why I’m there. I’ve also already done two prepared speeches and I will only improve more from here.
Flinging myself across the pacific will be the boldest thing I’ve ever done. And this includes randomly going to Budapest by myself for eight days. I don’t just want to be living. I want to thrive and I will do everything in my power to do so. I want to be someone who my younger self needed. Moving to SK will challenge me and will make me grow.